When You Know Where You Stand With Some Friends

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Meeting new people and making friends can exist overwhelming, but with a little attempt and willingness to step outside of your comfort zone, y'all can easily make friends. Start by getting yourself out at that place and looking for places to socialize, similar a local club or volunteer organization. One time yous start meeting new people, accept some time to get to know them and hang out together.

1. 1

   Make yourself available. If y'all desire to make friends, yous outset need to put yourself out there somehow in guild to run across people. If you merely sit alone, friends might come to yous, but that's not likely because they might think you want to stay alone. For instance, if you're still in school, sit down somewhere with other people. Information technology doesn't have to be a crowded table, but try to choose one with at to the lowest degree 2 other people.

   • Remember, friends rarely come up knocking on your door while you sit at domicile playing on your laptop.
   • If you run into opportunities to go out at that place and encounter people, take them. For example, try going to social functions at school or piece of work. If someone invites you to a party, go for it!

2. 2

   Join an organization or club to meet new people. This is a corking way to find other people who have common interests. Y'all don't necessarily demand to accept a lot of mutual interests with people in lodge to brand friends with them. Some of the most rewarding friendships are between 2 people who don't have much in common at all. Nonetheless, if yous similar a specific topic, try searching for a location where you tin can meet people who share that involvement.

   • For example, you could join the science club at school, the marching band, a knitting grouping, or any other shared-interest group.
   • If you play instruments or sing, try joining a band or choir. Joining a sports squad is a proficient selection if you lot're the able-bodied type or just want to endeavour something challenging and new!
   • If you're religious, a church building, Mosque, temple, or other firm of worship is a smashing identify to outset since y'all and the other people there will at least have a religious faith in common.

   Tip: There are lots of online resources for finding groups that share your interests. Try looking at local groups on Meetup.com or browsing groups and events in your surface area on Facebook.

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3. iii

   Volunteer for a crusade you intendance nigh. Volunteering is also a good way for people of all ages to see others. By working together, you build bonds with people. You may also come across others who have a passion for changing things the way yous do (a common crusade).^[1]

   • For example, you lot might donate your time at a local nursing domicile, hospital, brute shelter, or non-profit system.
   • Do an online search or call charitable organizations in your surface area to find volunteering opportunities well-nigh you.

4. 4

   Endeavor to connect with people you already know. Chances are, yous already know a few people who could potentially go good friends. Consider trying to get to know your co-workers, classmates, or even people in your social media network.^[2]

   • For example, if yous're a parent, you might reach out to the other parents of your child's classmates. Setting upwardly a play-date for the kids can be a good opportunity for you to go to know some new adult friends.

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1. 1

   Expect for opportunities to talk to people. You can join a order, go to school, or get to church, but you lot still won't make friends if you don't actually talk to people. By the aforementioned token, you don't accept to exist involved with an organization to be social. Any time you talk to someone, yous have a risk at making a lasting friend. Don't worry nigh saying anything special—only open a conversation by saying something friendly (like "Isn't information technology a gorgeous day?" or "That is an awesome shirt!") and run into where it goes from there!^[3]

   • You lot can talk to everyone: the clerk at the video shop, the person sitting next to yous on public transit, or the person in front of you in the dejeuner line. Don't exist besides picky.
   • Having good manners goes a long way. You tin can offset talking to people past only greeting them with a "Skilful morning, how are you?" equally you laissez passer them by. Showing simple good manners by greeting people makes you lot seem more friendly and people tend to reply well to it. Information technology's a neat way to start communicating with people.

2. 2

   Make eye contact and grin. If you don't present a friendly and inviting appearance, people are less likely to be receptive to your friendship. Look people directly in the center when they are speaking to you (or when y'all are speaking to them) and offer them a warm, friendly smile.^[4]

   • Do not squint, expect bored, frown, or expect deadpan. Try to avoid closed-off body language, like folding your arms or hanging out lonely in a corner.

   Did you lot know? Mirroring another person's body linguistic communication is a bully mode to build rapport with them. While you're talking to someone, try to subtly imitate their expressions and gestures. For case, if they smiling or lean forward while talking to you lot, practise the same.^[5]

3. iii

   Try a variety of conversation starters. One time yous find a person you lot're interested in becoming friends with, you need to initiate a conversation with that person. This will help you lot connect with them and start forming a friendship.^[six] There are a few different approaches y'all could try. For example:

   • Try making a comment well-nigh your immediate environment. The weather is a classic: "At least it'due south non raining like last week!"
   • Brand a request for assistance: "Can you help me carry a few boxes, if you have a minute?" or "Can you lot help me decide which one of these is a better souvenir for my mom?" Alternatively, you could offer help. For case, "Hey, practice you demand a hand cleaning upward?"
   • Give a compliment, such as, "That'southward a nice machine," or "I dearest your shoes." Avert making the compliment too personal, though, since that can make people uncomfortable.
   • Follow upwards immediately with a related question. For case, "Where'd you go those shoes? I've been looking for a pair like that."

4. iv

   Proceed the conversation going with small talk. If the other person seems interested in continuing the conversation, endeavour to keep information technology going by asking questions and offering a little data about yourself. It doesn't have to exist anything profound or super personal. The important thing is to show that yous can both heed and make interesting contributions to the chat.^[7]

   • People enjoy talking most themselves and nearly how great they are or expect. By listening more you talk, you will come across as a desirable friend.
   • Bear witness that you are listening actively by nodding, maintaining middle contact, and post-obit upwards what they say with questions or comments.
   • For instance, if the other person tells you about their chore, you could say something like, "Oh, cool! How did you become into that?"

5. 5

   Introduce yourself at the finish of the conversation. This can be as uncomplicated as saying "Oh, by the way, my proper name is . . ." One time you introduce yourself, the other person will typically practise the aforementioned.^[8]

   • Alternatively, you can open the chat by introducing yourself. For instance, y'all could approach a new co-worker by proverb, "How-do-you-do, I'm Sophie. I don't think we've officially met yet, but I work just down the hall from you!"
   • Remember their name. If you show that you remembered things from your past conversation(s) with the person, they will come across that you were paying attention and taking a genuine involvement in them.

6. 6

   Ask them out for tiffin or coffee. That volition requite you a better opportunity to talk and go to know each other a picayune bit better. Invite them to join you lot for java former and give them your email address or phone number. This gives the person the opportunity to contact yous. They may or may not give you their data in return, but that'southward fine.

   • A good way to extend yourself is to say: "Well, I've got to become, simply if you ever desire to discuss lunch or coffee or anything similar that, let me give you my number/electronic mail address."
   • The other person will be more likely to meet upward with you if you suggest a specific time and place. For example, you might say, "Hey, it was really fun chatting today! Would you like to gather at the Bagel Palace for java and a muffin on Saturday?"
   • If it feels bad-mannered to invite them to a i-on-ane get together, consider request them to become to a group event with you, similar a party or a flick night.

7. seven

   Pursue mutual interests. If you lot've discovered that the person you're talking to shares a common interest with you lot, ask them more near it and, if appropriate, whether they gather with others (in a club, for example) to pursue this interest. If so, this is a perfect opportunity to ask about joining them. If you clearly express interest (when? where? tin anyone come?), they'll probably invite you.

   • If you have a club, band, church, or other group or activeness that you think they might enjoy, accept the opportunity to requite them your number or e-mail address and invite them to join you.

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1. 1

   Be loyal to your friends. You've probably heard of off-white-atmospheric condition friends. They're the ones who are happy to be around you when things are going well, but are nowhere to exist found when yous really need them. Beingness a loyal friend will attract other people to you who value that quality. This is a practiced fashion to put your coin where your oral fissure is and attract the kind of friends you lot want in your life.^[nine]

   • Role of being a friend is being prepared to make sacrifices of your fourth dimension and free energy in order to assistance out your friends. But be nice.
   • If a friend needs help with an unpleasant chore, or if they only demand a shoulder to cry on, exist there for them.

   Tip: Being a loyal friend doesn't mean you need to be a people-pleaser or let your friends have reward of you. It's important to set healthy boundaries and say "No" sometimes if you lot need to for the sake of your own wellbeing.

2. 2

   Put in your share of the work to keep the friendship going. Adept friendships take a lot of piece of work. If your friend is ever checking upwardly on you, initiating go-togethers, remembering your birthdays, and offering to spot y'all lunch, it's important that you try to do the same whenever you can.^[10]

   • Bank check in with yourself occasionally and ask if yous're being the kind of friend yous'd desire to accept.
   • On the other side of the coin, ask yourself if your friend is doing their function. If not, information technology might be time to have a heart-to-heart talk with your friend (just take care non to make accusations or lay all the blame on them if the friendship isn't going the way you want).

3. three

   Exist reliable. When y'all say you'll practice something, do it. Be someone that people know that they can count on. If y'all embody these qualities in your treatment of others, it will attract others who capeesh reliability and who will be reliable in render.^[11]

   • If yous and your friend agree to see somewhere, don't be belatedly, and do not stand them up.
   • If you're not going to make it on time or make it at all, telephone call them as before long as you realize it. Apologize and ask to reschedule.
   • Don't make them wait for y'all unexpectedly; it'south rude, and it is certainly not a good way to launch a potential friendship.

4. four

   Exist a good listener . Many people think that in order to be seen as "friend cloth," they have to appear very interesting. Far more of import than this, all the same, is the ability to prove that you're interested in others. Mind carefully to what people say, think important details nearly them (their names, their likes and dislikes), ask questions about their interests, and just take the fourth dimension to learn more than about them.^[12]

   • You lot don't want to be the person who e'er has a amend story than anyone else, or who changes the subject field abruptly instead of continuing the flow of chat.
   • When you're listening, focus on what the other person is maxim instead of planning what you want to say next. Avoid interrupting, and try not to offering advice unless your friend asks for information technology.

5. 5

   Be trustworthy. One of the best things about having a friend is that you have someone to whom you can talk nigh anything, fifty-fifty secrets that you lot hide from the rest of the world. Before people even feel comfy opening up to you, notwithstanding, you lot need to build trust.^[xiii]

   • The fundamental to existence a practiced confidante is the ability to keep secrets. It's no secret that you shouldn't tell other people things that were told to you in confidence.
   • Don't talk about your friend behind their back or let them down when they're depending on yous. You can also build their trust by being honest and accountable.

6. 6

   Emphasize your practiced qualities. Project the good, unique qualities about yourself. Show others what makes you lot stand apart from the crowd. Talk about your interests and hobbies. Share a little scrap about your background with new friends. Everyone has interesting stories to tell—don't be agape to share yours. If you are a unique person, so show it.^[14]

   • A little humour always keeps conversation light and happy. People dear to be around someone who makes them laugh.
   • Friendships work best when you and your friend feel comfortable just being yourselves. Embrace your best qualities and allow them smoothen when you're with your friend, only don't effort to be something you're not just to delight or impress them.

7. seven

   Go on in affect with your friends. People often lose contact with their friends because they're either likewise busy or just don't value their friends enough. When y'all lose your connection with a friend, the friendship may fizzle out. And when you practise attempt to contact them once more, it can be difficult to rekindle the friendship.^[15]

   • Even if you don't have time for a long conversation or get-together, let your friend know you're all the same thinking about them by sending a quick text or dropping by to say "Hi."
   • Maintaining a friendship is difficult work. Make fourth dimension and share your life with your friend. Exist respectful of their decisions and share yours with them. Strive to proceed in contact over time.

8. 8

   Choose your friends wisely. As you befriend more people, yous may discover that some are easier to get along with than others. While you should always give people the benefit of the incertitude, sometimes you may realize that certain friendships are unhealthy, such as if a person is obsessively needy or decision-making towards y'all, is constantly critical, or introduces dangers or threats into your life. If this is the case, ease your style out of the friendship as gracefully as possible.^[16]

   • Cherish those friends you make who are a positive influence in your life, and do your all-time to be a positive influence in theirs.
   • Leaving a friendship can be difficult, even if it's unhealthy. If you have to cease your friendship, requite yourself time to grieve over the loss.

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Add New Question

• Question

  How do y'all brand friends when you are worried about what they will think of you?

  

  Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental wellness, and trauma in community wellness settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

  

  Professional person Counselor

  Expert Respond

  Outset, people don't think about y'all as much as you think they practice. Second, y'all cannot control what others think of y'all. Third, what they remember of you is their business, non yours. Fourth, even if yous know what they think about you, in that location is nothing you lot tin practise about it anyway. Just be y'all. If people do not think well of you, then you don't want to be effectually them anyhow. If this is something that preoccupies you so much you lot tin can't brand friends, talk to a therapist who can help you work past information technology.

• Question

  How do you tell if people volition be good or bad friends?

  

  Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Advisor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Wellness. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private do. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

  

  Professional Counselor

  Good Respond

  It is difficult to learn that until you know them ameliorate. One manner to tell is by listening carefully to their stories. Practise they talk nearly people they used to be friends with? Why are they no longer friends with that person? Sometimes that will give you lot clues to their character. Otherwise, pay attention to their deportment every bit you go to know them so make decisions about the time you lot spend with them. It is important to maintain boundaries with friends and those who overstep your boundaries without business concern or amends are not people you desire as friends.

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• Think well-nigh what you say earlier you say information technology. Your friends may get hurt or offended when you speak recklessly.

• If y'all aren't the type to naturally grinning a lot/give centre contact, don't pressure yourself to put on a false smile or give center contact if it makes y'all uncomfortable - don't force yourself to modify/mask your natural behaviour, because nosotros tin't all be beaming extroverts. Nosotros all express ourselves differently.

• Always be kind and never judge someone because of the way they wait or because they are unlike from you. Yous'll miss out on a lot of wonderful friendships if you don't give people a chance.

• Don't worry well-nigh what people recall. Near of the time, people think about other things. Don't become paranoid.

• If they don't call back of you every bit close every bit you recollect of them, endeavor to ease off a little. Don't forcefulness them into liking you.

• Get to know your new friend's other friends and family. That can open up the door to yous making even more friends in their social grouping!

• You don't have to be a superstar to exist a good friend. Attempt to be positive and friendly then that people experience good and appreciated when they're effectually you.

• Accept confidence in yourself! People are attracted to confidence, and you'll have an easier time approaching others if yous're not always second-guessing yourself.

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• Trust your instincts. If someone is giving you lot a bad vibe, there'southward ofttimes a good reason for it. Don't endeavor to pursue friendships with people who make yous uncomfortable.

• When you become to know someone really well, at that place's bound to be disharmonize occasionally. If you get into a fight with a friend, don't blame them or lash out. Give them some space and apologize for your part in the disagreement.

• Don't abandon sometime friends for newer ones. Good friendships are valuable and hard to come by, so do your best to keep in touch with former friends fifty-fifty as you get to know new people.

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Article Summary X

To make friends, bring together an organization, order, or sports team, since one of the all-time ways to make friends is to find people with like interests. Try volunteering somewhere to encounter potential friends who are passionate most the same causes as you are. If joining a group or volunteering is too far out of your comfort zone, endeavor striking up conversations with people y'all run into regularly, like someone you sit adjacent to in class or the cashier at your favorite shop. You could also try sitting with dissimilar people during luncheon. It'south OK if you lot're nervous to talk to new people. Just grin, stand up straight, and brand eye contact so you seem friendly. One time yous've talked a few times, try initiating a get-together by inviting them somewhere, similar a sports game or a concert. After you start hanging out, you lot'll apace become better friends! For more than advice from our co-writer, including specific pointers on how to ask someone to hang out, read on!

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